There comes a time in your life where you think, what am I doing?, where am I truly going?, what do I really want to achieve?, I am so over this, I am bored, well we all come to cross roads it is part of life. We do things until we get bored or we find something else to do.
This week has been hard for me, assignment due in, committee issues, weather caving in, personal trainer was ill, baby sitter was ill could not get to the 10km walk with the Striders winter series. I felt doom and gloom all around me.
I started to have doubts on what I was actually wanting to achieve, was it great fitness, or just being fit, why was i having so many issues, I have gone hard out for so long, I had hit my brick wall. You get that when you are at work your working long hours and something gives,, you get snappy at colleagues, and you just need time out. That is what has happened to me. But with my busy home life.
In life it is important to take stock.. someone once said to me “life is like a train journey, you are going along then you have two tracks you need to decide which one to take then your journey continues till you get the next split in the tracks and how it is important to get of the train every now an then and smell the flowers..
For me the last nearly week it has shown me it is time to step down from the train and take stock.. smell the flowers and refresh my self for the next leg of the journey..
I have done this by
A) getting my house really clean
B) going for a two hour hike with the children instead of doing my 10km walk.. I felt this was way more important than me going off and doing something by myself..
C) doing baking..
Back to doing stuff with my children.. I played a board game with my son. it was the biggest special moment in a long time with him it was something different. Iit was pleasurable and it had nothing to do with superheroes.
Going on the hike with the children got me thinking about how much I missed when I had post natal depression and then depression on top.. I have missed a lot of their growing up. I know I was there but it was like going from one day to the next just getting through the days. Trying to work out what my son needed how I can help him to achieve cause of his autism, going through a separation. I have and I will be honest here neglected my kids.. not of food or clothing or shelter or activities.. but my time and my love.. this has really come through now that I can really see where I am at..
So where to from here.. the new track has come upon me..
Do I keep doing what I am doing,
Or do I go down the new path.. well this is the new path…. continue the new wonderful lifestyle of eating healthy because we are all feeling the benefits of it. We all continue going to the gym, and I have decided to put my walking on hold. I will still do half marathons but only certain ones. I wont be going to training walks. But will go walk on treadmill instead so I can take my daughter to her activity she goes to. In life it is about compromise and this part of my journey is just that compromise. How can we all do what we want and still have the time to spend together. I have achieved this. I am wanting to spend more time with my children. Yes I home school them and I spend time with them. But there is spending time and really spending time doing things that we will remember when we grow old. That to me is important.
It is hard when you hit a brick wall to be able to stay focused. My study I have hit a brick wall and it is grating me. I am doing it but just like when I was depressed I am doing it cause I know I have to not cause I feel good about it. I know if I don’t I wont get my certificate. In life brick walls hit us from many directions.
Stop: What is actually your brick wall? Why have you come to a stand still?
Think: About your stop.. What has happened?
Analyse: Why has it happened? has it come to and end or just a different path? What can you do to change this? Do you need a new path or just rearrange what is already happening.
Move on: Now you know what your brick wall is, you know why it has happened, what you can do differently it is now time to move forward on your next journey of life
- Hitting your brick wall.
- Working out how you can achieve
- Train… journey
- Stop Think Analyse Move on.