Yes life fell a part, oh dear did it what, We sold our first house in-between we stayed at my parents (only ever do this if you really really have too). We brought new house (could write a whole blog on buying and selling houses), things went from good to bad to just forget it.. So we separated. My son had been diagnosed with Autism, I was trying to study and we separated, so life kicked me and it kicked me hard i stopped studying took one factor out, I was going down hill and fast i was getting to the bottom of the bottle and chippy packet and digging a hole in the ground that you think you will never get out off financially.. There comes a time when you just have to stop.. Stop the drinking stop the over eating stop the feeling sorry for your self.. feeling like you are worth nothing. I tried Dr Phils book http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Weight-Solution-Freedom/dp/0743236742 which got me thinking about things. I like the first sections of the book about working out why you eat? why you are the way you are around food? I do endorse that part.. (I not being paid). Got me thinking not just about food but my life (still not in the right frame of mind to understand it completely though) So… I was on a dating site (could write a whole blog on that one but I wont be).. and I got talking to a guy on there as you do.. don’t worry this is pegy1 he could see that i was depressed and had lost my way.. so I started writing and writing and he would read and comment. To this day I believe he saved my life. He got me thinking about where I have been what I have done where I was heading. He got me to go to the Doctors, I ended up on anti depressants, first time in my life I could think straight… Now you probably wondering what has this to do with weight loss.. just wait keep reading you will find out…(if you can see your self here get a book and start writing everybody says get it out of your system the true part is going back and reading it to see what you have actually written something you will go “oh my what a wolley” and other things you will go “I so need to work on that” and the light bulb moment “aah that is why that situation happened” this is important to be able to move on..
So as I said earlier my son has Autism, had to learn many techniques to deal with him. The biggest thing i had learn’t with my son was one thing at a time.. This is important that saying.. this is my life changing moment when one realises one can not do everything at once.. let me show you
How can one stop eating heaps, when one has so many built up issues that just needs food to feel better with,
or how can one work on a financial hole if one spends a lot of money on food (ie junk food take aways) to keep me happy.. see the cycle I was in..
So one thing at a time:
I had to work on all my issues had to remove people from my life best feeling ever, I could think, I call the poisonous people. If you have people in your life that just suck all your energy or you feel like they are controlling you and you can not think and be you, it is time to let them go, I went all the way back to when I was adopted and worked all the way up to now and I do mean now you will never stop making sure issues you have are put in their boxes. But you learn to let a lot of things go. Yes this is how I coped if I could sort the issue why it happened? what my reaction was, is there anything I could do about it, then when completed it would go in a box in my head, I imaginably split my head in to boxes.. just like de cluttering at home. Does this need to stay can it be fixed or can it go. So after a year of emailing and writing and questioning and having light bulbs flash above me I was now able to go on to the next area of concern…
Just need to add at this point I had joined committees and was feeling better I had started to study also.. by now I was on to my second course.. funny how life works out.. (you will see)
The dreaded financial hole..
oh look the course I am doing has a financial paper.. which is business orientated but also your financials.. So when I was ready to move on to my finances I had help. It made me look at my self in a big way. The theory goes if you can not look after yourself how are you suppose to look after someone else. So the big step.. this took a year even after doing the paper and getting me out of financial trouble I got me back there again but not as bad as the first time. I would just like to say I have my finances in a good place.. and I intend on keeping them that way..
so now food.. well for me it was actually exercise.. I tried going back to walking a few times.. I did have a bad fall when I was nearing the bottom of the bottle. I am now back walking with the Striders, I was doing Turbo Jam again. thinking great I am really fit.. I am doing awesome.. man did I have no clue.. I was clued up on finances I was clued up on how to deal with psychological issues I was for the first time in my life actually understanding me and my body and the world around me, I was not the scared naive person I once was I am 34years old and I was finally understanding life. But I still had no clue to eating healthy and working out. Working at home is fantastic when you know nothing else.. (suppressed memories of the gym and I did not want to pay to go too a big gym. (scary places they are).